1. Pick your monster.
Generally, your monster should be something that isn’t already terrifying. If you are scared or disgusted by your monster before you even start, you will never be able to create a proper monster of it, and your 3rd grade teacher would remind you that a healthy challenge is important in life.
2. Teach your monster something that should in theory be useful to you.
This could be anything. You could teach it talk or give you affection when it’s close to you, or even teach it to ring a bell when it needs to go outside to pee. You know, normal everyday useful things.
3. Allow time for your monster to become confident.
This could take as much as a few hours to a few weeks, but it’s important to give your monster enough time to not only gain confidence, but also a sense of entitlement. No monster can truly be a true monster unless it believes it is superior over all other beings, and a bit of a god complex wouldn’t hurt either.
4. Encourage your monster.
By now, your monster should be starting to experiment. Give your monster the right motivation to continue in this behavior.
5. Enjoy your monster.
Sometimes when my body parts don’t cooperate, I start to imagine the conversations I’d have with them. This week I’ve had a bad cold and for whatever reason, they turned into the mob. I blame the fever.
Also, I started a Facebook page for my blog! It’s not really that exciting, but let’s pretend!
Here’s a few pictures of the new puppy. Her name is Indiana Jone, but we’re calling her Indie because four syllables is a lot to handle for a puppy. Also, if I walk around yelling Indiana Jone people will know I’m crazy, and I like to keep that under wraps until at least our third meeting.
We think she’s a mix of a Queensland Heeler (cattle dog – see one spotted paw) and a Shar Pei (because she has some loose skin and her siblings have more wrinkles), but all I care is that it translates to cute. When we first got her she ran around the house collecting all her toys and the cats’ toys (they weren’t amused) and put them in her bed. By day two, she was grabbing them all and putting them up on the couch, so she obviously knows where she stands!
And the same people who tell me to have a baby, try and convince me I’m not “ready” for a puppy. I don’t quite get it.
UPDATE: You can see pictures of our puppy here!