The Truth About Corgis

Internet, I have a confession to make.

I’ve been thinking about this confession a lot in the last year or so, and honestly I’ve been afraid of coming out with it. It may be enough to get me kicked out of the Internet forever. Yes, it is that shocking.

I know what you’re thinking. What, does she murder baby unicorns for their pelts and use the money to advocate for prohibition?

No, I’m afraid you might think it’s worse. I’m just going to say it.

I don’t like corgis.

There. It’s done. I said it. I don’t like them. I don’t think they’re cute. And I just don’t get the obsession with them. (Have you unfollowed me yet?)

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish them any harm. I’m sure they have a lovely personality. And they are a living being, and as a living being they deserve a sort of grudging respect.

But are they really dogs? I’d like to present Theory 1: Are Corgis Actually Slugs?

corgi 1

I’m sure even you, Internet, corgi lover that you are, can appreciate the similarities here.

I mean, yeah, they’re cute as “puppies,” but I feel like maybe there’s some sort of conspiracy going on about their “cuteness.” It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes or something. You know, everyone pretends he’s got this really great outfit on but really he’s just balls deep in nudity? And then there’s that one innocent who speaks up and says, “But he’s naked!” Well, the Internet doesn’t have any innocents (of course), so you got stuck with us cynics instead. (Sorry, we’re not as cute.)

I mean, don’t get me wrong, corgis aren’t all that is wrong with the dog world. Humans have been playing Mad Scientist with the canine species since the dawn of time.

corgi 2

Of course all these poor creatures deserve good homes. I’m just saying Nature would never have let a dog without legs become a “thing.”

And you know what’s worse? Not only do these poor legless dogs exist, but these sick people are running around making perfectly good dog breeds also into corgis.

If you have a strong stomach, I challenge you to look at this page. Look and weep at the horror you have wrought, Internet. Just no longer ask me to sit silently and watch.

I’ll just be over here now waiting for my eviction notice.

corgi 3

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43 Responses to The Truth About Corgis

  1. Cymneorith says:

    This is hilarious. I have to admit, I somewhat share your dislike of them (shh, don’t tell anyone). Their legs have always creeped me out, but now I pity them; they can never be as athletically advanced as their other canine counterparts.

  2. ljbradburn says:

    I love big fluffy dogs with big fluffy legs, sorry corgis ;-)

  3. Um, in your cartoons, is a spear-head… body-shaped?

  4. sindyblue10 says:

    Lol I don’t even know what a corgis actually is!
    Seriously…I still am unsure.
    I’ve never heard of it until this post. xP

  5. alice giddy says:

    Really, they are only good at ankle biting! Nothing else!

  6. Ells says:

    “I’m sure they have a lovely personality.” you say… well, I’m not sure that they do! As I understand it, they were originally bred as cattle dogs who got their herds moving by nipping at their ankles – a habit that apparently has not died out in the breed! I’m sure there are *some* nice Corgi dogs out there somewhere but generally they have a bit of a bad rep, personality wise…

    And I agree – they’re not really cute.

  7. I actually think that the Corgi/German Sheppard is really cute.

  8. Jennie Saia says:

    I don’t blame you. I’m OK with Corgis, but French Bulldogs and other dogs that can’t breathe through their noses make me feel uncomfortable. *wheeze wheeze*

  9. Can I sit with you? I’m not a fan either. Give me a nice big Irish Wolf Hound any day. They have lots of leg.

  10. Elyse says:

    Can I follow you AGAIN because of this post? I’ve never understood the attraction of Corgis. Then again, I am not the Queen.

    • Rae says:

      I’m very relieved that I’m not the only one. I guess we can’t all be the Queen, but you’d think it should be a rotating position or something.

  11. Soul Walker says:

    Rae,

    I get the feeling number nineteen is crazy and will probably kill it’s owners, find a way to play catch with itself, and then take a long nap. Also, the husky mix just seems mean and cruel.

    -Soul Walker

  12. Thank you for this! I was starting to wonder if I was the only one on the internet who honestly preferred…big-ish dogs? Like labradors?

    • Rae says:

      I’m with you. And smaller dogs can be cute too, but medium sized dogs with no legs? Weird.

      • Yeah! I don’t really have anything against small dogs, it’s just a bit weird when you see dogs that have been so badly bred that their “cuteness” is damaging their health.
        And corgi chihuahua… Sorry, just not for me.

  13. devinci101 says:

    This won’t make me unfollow you, don’t worry your pretty triangle head. *chuckles* The corgis with super-short legs are strange, but I suppose the other cross-breeds are cute. Though I can sympathize with you on the general public’s love of strange dog breeds: what is up with shar peis? Sharpeis? The first time I heard that, I thought of the arrogant rich girl Sharpay in High School Musical. *face contortion* They’re just so . . . flabby.

    • Rae says:

      You’re right, I feel like there’s an inside joke to everyone’s love of ugly dogs that I’m not in on, which of course makes me bitter and defensive, but they *are* ugly.

      • devinci101 says:

        I wonder if there’s some sort of irony to it – like why aren’t Labradors more popular than the unnatural cross-breeds of Chihuahua-Corgi-Daschund, whatever – do humans love these kinds of dogs *because* they are ugly and they want to spread out love evenly, or something? It’s really strange. Oh, and why aren’t cats more popular than dogs in the first place? I can’t imagine how someone might not like cats! They’re so sweet, their little noses and angled ears and big darling eyes, and yet they are so graceful and poised . . . .
        Well, you see, I could ramble on about a cat’s wonderfulness for a while. I might become a crazy cat lady when I grow up.

        • Rae says:

          Yeah, anyone who doesn’t like cats has just never been bonded with a cat before. I think cats and dogs each have their own major bonus – cats are way more self-sufficient and easy, whereas dogs are nice because you can usually bring them with you if you need to.

          • devinci101 says:

            Yes – dogs are pretty much affectionate *at all times*, which is nice when your really need to squish-hug someone, but when cats are affectionate with you it’s like you’ve been graced with their time, or privileged. Honestly, I revere cats. No wonder Ancient Egyptians worshiped them. :D

  14. I’ll join in the “I don’t lie corgis” choir. Give me a dog that looks like a wolf, or no breed at all.

  15. I got my Corgi after losing my career of 21 years thanks to the greed of Wall Street and big banks so I must say against that back drop I love em! Though I am not a fan of many breeds, give me a Heinz 57 dog ( that is a dog with many mixed pedigrees) or a Pit any day, this dog made me feel I still mattered. After six years I have come to love his devotion to my bride and feel he would protector with his life. Priceless.
    Owning any dog makes you realize one thing about dogs: Your opinion or bias does not really matter because they love like nothing else. No matter what others say it seems the love a dog trumps all in the end. I think we got the better deal when a few ancient Wolves choose us as masters. With all that said I loved the post and the cartoons: Are they your originals?
    Oh by the way Corgis legs are short so when the livestock they are herding kicks it’s hind legs it goes over their head…..said no human rodeo clown ever..also they are short so the can’t kick our a@@ and rule the world ;)

    • Rae says:

      Interesting tidbit on why their legs are so short!

      Owning a dog is great and I’m glad you’ve had good experiences (nothing like an animal to help pull you out of a depression). I’m not against any dog (I love them), I’m just annoyed with the dog “fads” pop culture goes through (which ends up in overbreeding and eventually homeless animals). Also, I’m still with the stance that corgis are strange looking little animals. ;)

      And yes, all the cartoons and drawings are original!

      • I agree with you on the fad dog craze and puppy mills, well the mentality behind them I cannot wrap my mind around. Dogs are workers,companions or both but to reduce them to consumer goods it deplorable. Once again great post and love the cartoons and being a good sport ………and they are strange looking but I can tell you would be a good owner if one came your way :)

  16. Kathy says:

    Finally, someone speaks up! Never liked them, never will.

  17. lindigo says:

    Despite my new distrust of your opinion on all things furry, I will not unfollow you. But I can’t say as much for my 13-yr-old stubby-legged fluff ball corgi boy, who was terribly offended by this post. Guess that’s what I get for teaching him to read and use the internets.

  18. Oh my god! Thank you for saying this. They’re like barrels on stumps. It’s like seeing an uneccessarily lowered car. Corgis too, cannot get over speed bumps or up a kerb. Maybe I’m really rocking the boat, but I’d like to add horses to that list. Everyone sticks up for them, too.

    You might like this; http://thingsithinks.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/getting-on-my-high-horse-or-not-because-i-hate-them/
    :)

  19. Ripley Trout says:

    Run! The Corgi-lovers are coming for you … Oh, it’s okay, they’re used to moving at Corgi-pace so you can walk and still outpace them.

  20. sgabel619 says:

    I love this post! Thanks for sharing!

  21. The giant husband and I are big dog people for obvious reasons. I’ve always had German Shepherds. In 2012, we adopted a Dachshund, I know, don’t ask… I cannot tell you enough, how this weird-looking dog has made us laugh and continues to make us laugh by virtue of his oddness. And let’s face it, at the end of the day, sometimes I’d rather be the Dachshund because it’s much easier to crawl under the couch. :-)
    AnnMarie

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