The Internet Truck

Remember when I said I would be sad if my views went way down? Well, it turns out having my blog go viral has made me completely jaded so I was kind of sad to see that my hits are only around a couple thousand a day. Then I kicked myself because I remembered how hard it was to get even 25 views a day. Then I got even more nervous that they might go down to 25 again because I think that would categorize me as a failure. An Internet failure.

Speaking of which, do you remember how your mom or someone old would always tell you, “You are your own worst critic”? Whoever said that has obviously never met the Internet before. Seriously, the Internet is the worst critic you will EVER EVER find. I was actually feeling a little down yesterday (in addition to having a bit of a cold I caught from a bridesmaid last weekend) because I made the mistake of reading some of the forums where my flowchart is posted. Honestly, I know everyone dreams of having something they make go viral (my husband really hates that word by the way, can we think of a new word for it?), but if it ever happens to you, I recommend resisting the urge to read anything anyone writes about you.

I probably won’t normally post more than one thing a day (I have a horrible fear of running out of things to say), but I suddenly got the urge to warn everyone of the Internet. If the Internet tries to lure you to its van with promises of candy, I promise you that all it will do is tell you that you’re ugly in that dress and you’re not funny to boot. Then it will run over your foot.

Also, the Internet Truck totally needs bigger tires. Stupid Internet.

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13 Responses to The Internet Truck

  1. As a published author, I can assure that the random “run over your foot” response to creativity is universal. At least in my case people pay for my books and they have a right then to criticize them. Some take that right to include criticizing me, but that comes with the territory and I’ve grown a second skin (with the help of good chocolate). In a blogger’s case, creativity is free for those that want it, and yet people think they can be cruel out of all proportion to what they invested. Absent the social pressure of face-to-face give and take, the Internet is a sitcom where people say stupid and hurtful things and then pretend in the next scene that none of that happened.

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  2. gabrielaa. says:

    read the post yesterday & came to tell you that two days ago I posted a feminist manifesto from the women in the protests in Spain & got like 500 views (500!!!) mostly from outraged Spanish males & such
    but got here & found *the* Karin Kallmaker commenting so am speechless
    will be back 🙂

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  3. Ilsé says:

    Cure for the internet truck……… Haagen-dazs ice-cream & cappuccino!!

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  4. Jenn says:

    Doesn’t the Internet Truck travel at light speed??
    Would you even feel it it hit you?
    Then it leads me to think that maybe it would either a) run through you without noticable affects or b) vaporize you into oblivion…
    Personally, I think the grammar issues may cause some genetic scrambling that could cause later generations to have a serious loss of intelligence and sense of humor. What am I saying? Have you seen YouTube? I think I’m onto something here…

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