I’m Not an Alcoholic

The husband was reading the last two weeks of my blog and when he was done he looked up at me and said, “Wow, you sound like an alcoholic.” Apparently, I talk about drinking too much. I promise though, I’m not. I’m afraid you don’t trust me now though, so I’ve contacted people I’ve known throughout my life to give a character reference for me.

Here’s Mr. Renold, my 12th grade calculus teacher.

Ok, that was probably a bad place to start, math was never my strong suit. Here, talk to one of my coworkers, she loves me.

Sigh, I just like coffee.

Oh look, here’s my granny. She’s known me my whole life, so she can tell you what I’m like.

Well, this isn’t going the way I planned. Here’s my primary care physician, maybe she can convince you.

I swear, I’m very honest on all my medical forms. Seriously, I am.

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10 Responses to I’m Not an Alcoholic

  1. LOL! I’m a “not an alcoholic” too!

    Like

  2. Kriss says:

    Woke my boyfriend up because I was giggling over your posting.

    Like

  3. sayali611 says:

    Haha! Amazing post. The calculus sum on the board, epic!

    Like

  4. FredK says:

    You couldn’t get your bartender to give you a reference?

    In case you are interested, this is what your kid would look like:
    http://idlehandscomic.com/raes_kid.html

    Like

  5. FoxyBlur says:

    lollll! love it!!! (and your other blog, lol, that is SO how I prayed as a kid. Ok, let me stop lying, how I pray now) šŸ˜‰

    To respond to your post on my blog, yeah, that was not even slightly close to the worst date I’ve had so far. The worst is (unfortunately) yet to come. Cue exploding ass, narcissism…it goes on and on). Clearly, I’m meant to either date for humor, or be alone.

    Like

  6. lilthechic says:

    Oh my God, my boss walked in on me laughing at your post…I hope i don’t get a query.

    Like

  7. wow85 says:

    That was hilarious! My favourite part was when the doc said, “3-4 drinks a weeks” Because it sparked my grammar Nazi calling. So: 3-4 drinks a week* I am happy now. šŸ˜€

    Like

  8. DewNestry says:

    Amazing post… I loved the formula on the board. It looks like quantum mechanics.

    Like

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