My 10-year high school reunion was this last weekend, which means the last couple of weeks I’ve gotten lots of friend requests on Facebook from people I haven’t seen in 10 years and haven’t talked to ever.
I didn’t end up going because it seemed silly to spend a lot of money just to make awkward conversation with people and pretend to be interested in their children, especially since most of the people I’m actually still friends with weren’t going either.
I did skim through the list of people registered for the reunion and found that there were basically four types of people based off of their profile picture.
The “I’m using my body to try and distract you from the fact that I haven’t really done anything.”
The “I’m an artist and I don’t care about success because that’s selling out.”
The “I have children! Did you notice I have children?!”
And the “I used to be the high school quarterback but now I just drink a lot because being an athlete didn’t actually get me anywhere in life.”
Of course, there’s a lot of successful people I graduated with too, but it’s not fun to talk about them. Also, they make me feel less successful, and, let’s face it, high school reunions are mainly for people who need to compare themselves with their peers to see how they are doing. I can do that by looking at Facebook, which basically saved me $200 and a lot of “Wow, isn’t he cute. Is that a bong he’s playing with?”