Why I Can’t Make a Flowchart on Hiding a Body

I have nothing else to post right now, so here’s a text message conversation I just had with a friend.

Set-up: Discussing where to meet for a BBQ on Saturday.

Me: San Leandro has a Bay, who knew? Although it’s probably full of bodies or something.

Clarissa: Haha, yeah, probably. Flowchart on whether or not you’d hide a body in the San Leandro Bay.

Me: Is it dead? Will it sink?

Clarissa: How many pieces?

Me: Are there any flesh eating sharks?

Clarissa: Or leeches?

Me: This flowchart is just writing itself. We’ll have to investigate more possibilities tomorrow.

Clarissa: That sounds like a pleasant conversation, can’t wait! [Note: I added in the exclamation mark to make her sound more excited, because she should be.]

I was thinking about actually making this flowchart, but what if I’m framed for murder sometime in the future and the cops use this as evidence that it was premeditated? Which led me to my next idea: The How to Avoid Being Framed for Murder Flowchart. This flowchart will basically advise against making a flowchart for hiding a body in a bay, talking about it on my blog, and making friends with sleazy characters.

See, this is how big government takes all the fun out of figuring out different ways to hide a body. Stupid nanny state.

This entry was posted in Flowcharts and Graphs, Paranoid and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Why I Can’t Make a Flowchart on Hiding a Body

  1. I know what you mean. That’s why I try to limit my “poison my husband” jokes.


  2. FredK says:

    That’s the same reason I always on purpose misspell “Immanentize the Eschaton”.


  3. Anna says:

    Both of these flowchart ideas are useful and as such will probably get you arrested.
    Draw them and hide under your bed… it’s the only way!


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  5. Ooooh, you’s just gettin’ awarded all over the place! 🙂


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