If Problems Were Death Stars

I’ve been working on customizing my blog, which of course has been way more frustrating than it needs to be, so I haven’t been able to work on a post. But look! Pictures in the sidebar!

It’s been awhile since I’ve cleaned out my spam folder and I found some real gems this morning while I was going through it. I corrected the spelling mistakes because they bug the shit out of me.

If my problem was a Death Star, this article is a photon torpedo.

+1 for effort, but I believe proton torpedo was used to destroy the Death Star. Photon torpedos are a Star Trek thing. Don’t ask me how I know that.

That’s 2 clever by half and 2×2 clever 4 me. Thanks!

Either this comment is too clever for me or 10 years after high school I’m still not that great at math word problems.

Could you write about Physics so I can pass Science class?

I passed Physics class by watching a lot of Bill Nye the Science Guy. True story.

Full of salient points. Don’t stop believing or writing!

This comment wouldn’t be complete without you knowing that the author’s name is Journey. Thanks, Journey, I’ll try to hold onto that feeling.

UPDATED: I just got this spam comment in, I assume because I just referenced Star Wars.

“Charming to the last. You don’t know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.” – Tarkin, Star Wars Episode IV

Is a random spammer trying to put a hit out on me?

And does anyone know who actually writes these spam comments? Because I would love to get a job coming up with clever lines to spam people with. Bonus: I’ll check my spelling and people may even believe I’m a real person!

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8 Responses to If Problems Were Death Stars

  1. Ohhh, I like your sidebar pictures! I might steal that. I’ve been customizing my blog, too. I might steal your “Best of” idea. I always want people to read my one about aliens because it’s my favorite, but it’s one of the least read ones for some reason. I’m going to go read your best ones, now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You should do it! Don’t worry about “stealing” the idea, a lot of people do a “best of” sidebar. It’s a good way to direct first-time viewers to your best pieces. I’m not done customizing mine, it’s taking longer than I thought since I had to figure out the right size and then customize each picture, but I like how it’s turning out!


      • Oh my gosh, I just re-read my comment. Please forgive the repetition! I am suffering from short term memory loss right now (it’s a bizarre allergic reaction I have to fish) and it makes me like Dory from Finding Nemo. I am so embarrassed.


  2. Pingback: Search Recap: Halloween and Unicorns | Peas and Cougars

  3. I guess spammers think you’ll approve it if it’s clever enough. Not so. I loath spam comments.


  4. DewNestry says:

    If you get a job at creating spam comments, could you please pull a few strings for me and get me one too?


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