More Spam than British Colonies

While I do really enjoy comments from real people, the spam comments also hold a special place in my heart. Here are some of my favorites that I’ve gotten recently.

Life’s not all beer and skittles.

Well, yeah. You can’t do skittle shots with beer.

Hello, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring? I miss your great writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! Come on!

I miss my great writings too, but unfortunately they are spending the holidays in the Hamptons and they’ve asked me not to contact them again after I insisted on wearing white after Labor Day. My boring writings had no such qualms.

I like to party, not look articles up online. You made it happen.

I like your style.

Please teach the rest of these internet hooligans how to write and research!

Seriously, and thank you for noticing how much research I put into my posts. I should also mention that this comment was made on my post Alcohol is for Adults.

The genius store called, they’re running out of you.

Ha! I haven’t heard that one before!

I could watch Schindler’s List and still be happy after reading this.

Wow. Did you hear that? I take the edge off of dead and starving children. Wait till I tell my mom!

Free knowledge like this doesn’t just help, it promotes democracy. Thank you.

That’s good to know because I was actually thinking of starting my own country.

Reading this makes my decisions easier than taking candy from a baby.

Babies shouldn’t have candy anyway.

You have more useful info than the British had colonies pre-WWII.

This has to be my favorite spam comment ever and I think I’m going to make it into a t-shirt or something.

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41 Responses to More Spam than British Colonies

  1. I would totally buy that shirt. The quality of my spam has greatly decreased. What am I doing wrong?

    Like

  2. underwhelmer says:

    One word; epic.

    I love that picture. 🙂 Way to take something absolutely useless (spam) and make it hilarious. Kudos.

    Like

  3. Vigour8 says:

    Wish I had your spam, mine advertises copy watches…

    Like

  4. Rob Rubin says:

    I wish I had cool Spam comments like you. Mine are usually all about trying to get me to buy used pinball machine parts.

    Like

  5. amira says:

    well said Rae
    spam comments do hold a special place – they are just hilareous 😀

    Like

  6. asoulwalker says:

    That picture is epic. I love the look and the hair that looks like it’s being swept back by the wind. There should totally be a t-shirt.

    Like

  7. woah. you get very flattering spam. but how can you be sure its spam? maybe they are really complimentary people?

    Like

  8. You’ve just inspired me to go read my spam. I never have.

    Like

  9. Tina says:

    I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve actually been tempted to mark as not spam just because they’re too silly. Ok, and also to raise the number of my stats. Smiles!

    Like

  10. Spam… happy *sigh*. It’s totally worth the blogging.

    Like

  11. Anne Schilde says:

    There has to be a level of spam coolness that I just haven’t reached yet. The crap I get doesn’t even make sense.

    Like

  12. this is what I recently received “hello cfagbag, nice cfagbag site” 😐 what does that even mean?

    Like

  13. I love that picture. Awesome. I have not had the pleasure of receiving spam comments yet, but something tells me you get some of the best!

    Like

  14. Russ Nickel says:

    Sadly I’m only up to 12 useful infos, so I can’t pretend the comment applies to me 😦

    Like

  15. LWSpotts says:

    I’m inspired to read my spam before deleting now. Thanks for the laugh!

    Like

  16. marinalisaz says:

    Stay calm and embrace your SPAM! Great lesson!

    Like

  17. This post had me laughing so hard!! I have gotten some of the most strange and ridiculous spam comments ever and now I will be recording them just so I can go back and have a good laugh when I need one.

    Like

  18. Nadia says:

    I was impressed by your research for ‘Alcohol is for adults’, too. Spam is absolutely wonderful. Thanks for sharing yours!

    Like

  19. I’m afraid of my SPAM comments. I looked at them once and it was pretty horrific. But now, I have the courage to click boldly and with confidence. Sort of.

    I wonder who writes those mean Spam mails anyway…

    Like

  20. Melissa says:

    I would buy multiples of that shirt!! Awesome!

    Like

  21. jseaford says:

    I think an ex-GF has spammed my comments section. I’ve been asked on numerous occasions if I’d like penis enlargements.

    Like

  22. sillymexox0 says:

    The last comment was just EPIC. XD
    And I like the genius store one too:)

    Like

  23. Smart Guy says:

    Wait, how are these spam? These are hilarious!

    Like

  24. Lori Franks says:

    I too love my spam comments..always good for a laugh. Sometimes I want to go ahead and click “approve”

    Like

  25. Your stuff is so classic it’s not even funny!
    I have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award the rules are listed on my page! Congrats and keep up the great work!

    Like

  26. The spam comments we’ve been getting are quite hilarious, too. My favorite had to be “Shiver me timbers! This is a most excellent post!” I almost let it through, with its pirate and Bill & Ted references.

    Like

  27. setinmotion says:

    Outrageous! I’ve also received:

    Hello, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring? I miss your great writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! Come on!

    I’m not sure whether to be glad that I’m not the only person who has lost “great writings” or disappointed that spam isn’t slightly more tailored to me.

    Like

  28. allenavw says:

    How do you read your spam comments? I can only find the chart that tells me how many spam comments have been blocked. And after seeing these gems I want to read the 70 blocked comments I’ve had this month lol.

    Like

    • Rae says:

      Go to your comments like normal and when you’re there you’ll see a little link above them that says spam. Be prepared to go through a lot of crap though.

      Like

  29. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez says:

    I just got this one and I did laugh, then I googled it:
    The genius store called, they’re running out of you.

    Like

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