This is also a story about why I never got very far in high school Spanish.
Spanish class was particularly boring because I had particularly dull teacher.
She’d do this annoying thing where she’d lean right against the first row of desks and sway back and forth on her feet. (In the picture below she’s supposed to be rocking back and forth. Works on my preview, so I’m not sure why it isn’t showing up on the post, but you can click the image if you want to see it play.)
I actually started to feel seasick once when I sat too close to her, so I started sitting at the back of the class, despite having a reputation for being a good and attentive student. A few of my friends who were less interested in the school experience also sat back there. One friend, whom we’ll call Tina, was more of a daring character than me. After a week of especially boring conjugations, Tina brought in reading material for us.
It was Letters to Penthouse.
I had read a few sordid romance novels before, so I wasn’t a completely naive virgin, but these letters took it to another level.
And that is why I can never think about Spanish without thinking of some really strange and perverse stories involving tigers. So make sure you read your “stories” in a safe environment this Valentine’s Day or you may never be able to conjugate another verb again.