Like a lot kids, I was awkward and painfully shy. I wasn’t very good at pretending like I knew how to socialize, and kids suck at conversation anyway, which is why they usually just resort to being mean.
So I perfected the art of becoming invisible, which basically meant not standing out in any way, and for the most part it worked.
At some point though, I decided this was bullshit and it would be nice to actually win at something. But what could I do when I only had the power of invisibility?
One day, my class was playing a mandatory game of Capture the Flag. Of course I was picked close to last, so I really wanted to prove everybody wrong. As I was standing on the field, I realized something. No one was really paying attention to me.
Which gave me an idea.
I stepped across the line to the other team’s side, but instead of running for the flag (aka, a chalkboard eraser), I just stood there and pretended to be one of them. I kept expecting some sweaty kid to run up and tag me, but no one did. So I started slowly making my way toward the flag, being sure not to make any sudden movements that would attract their attention (kids and T-Rex are strangely similar).
I waited until everyone near the flag was distracted, and then I calmly walked up and took it. At this point though, my childish zeal couldn’t be contained. I had captured the m*therf*cking flag!
I ran the flag back to my team’s side, which wasn’t really necessary since no one even realized I had it anyway.
And that was when I learned that an underhanded win is the easiest win.
A worthy Origin Story…
So much makes sense now!
LikeLike
You were a brilliant child! Evil, but brilliant. And I love the picture of you in the fetal position!
LikeLike
brills! what a great story
LikeLike
Your posts brighten my day (:
LikeLike
You sly thing!
LikeLike
Don’t underestimate me beyatches!
LikeLike
Your grin in that last picture is priceless.
LikeLike
Well done!
LikeLike
I would say I had a similar experience, but we mostly played baseball and hockey… it’s hard to be sneaky and succeed at anything in those games…
LikeLike
If you were really good at being unnoticeable, you could steal bases!
LikeLike
I wish I’d thought of that! I was an awkward, shy kid, too.
LikeLike
Did capturing the @#^$% flag change your life in a profound way? PLEASE say yes!
LikeLike
Yes, I am now the first one picked at all Capture the Flag games. Unfortunately, I haven’t played Capture the Flag for about 16 years.
LikeLike
Weekend plans made.
LikeLike
Biggups! 😉
LikeLike
P.S. So glad I’m contributing to strengthening the Unicorn population too! I heart Unicorns! 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
This is awesome! I remember doing the same thing as a kid – yay for invisibility!!
LikeLike
I got an F in English. Three times. And I never could draw a T-Rex, which I think if I had realized their similarity to kids, might have made it easier, but I would have been #@*^&ing terrified of Capture the Flag!
LikeLike
Are these your illustrations? They are so cute! I love them the dark haired one is adorable! x
LikeLike
Yes, they are, and thanks! Are you talking about the one in the green dress? That’s me, although I’m probably more adorable in cartoon form.
LikeLike
Sounds like me when I was little 🙂
LikeLike
so awesome.. 🙂
LikeLike
A think this brings back many a childhood memory for most people.
It’;s funny, because yesterday I posted about how much i sucked at sports and had virtually the same kind of issues:
http://themainland.net/the-most-glorious-moment-of-my-pathetic-athletic-career/
LikeLike
The last time I played Capture The Flag; I was struck by lightning. True story…
LikeLike
It’s just so beautiful from start to finish. Love the fetal position and the accompanying eyes.
LikeLike
Brilliant! Thank you!
LikeLike
I am super flattered that you still read my blog!
LikeLike
my favorite blog…keep doing whata you do
LikeLike
Thanks, I’ll try!
LikeLike
I’m an underdog person myself and I think underdogs and underhandedness should get along famously. Go team!
LikeLike
Yaaaaaay! Go you! D:
ps It wasn’t underhanded! Hiding in blindsight is a valid tactic and turning a weakness into a strength is something most adults struggle to do. Smart child!
LikeLike