Face Painting or How I Know When to Give Up

At some point in high school, I got suckered into working a kids’ fair at a local elementary school. I thought this would be fun, until I remembered that I don’t really like children. Everyone was given a random assignment, and I somehow got placed at the face painting table. It at least seemed better than having to serve food or something and it gave me an excuse to yell tell the kids to not to move or talk.

I figured no one would actually want their face painted, but somehow I ended up with a kid right away. He wanted a dragon, and being impressed with his taste, I tried to make one up. I figured it would be awful and prevent any kid from wanting anything from me ever again.

Surprisingly though, it was kind of good. So good, I heard parents whisper about the mysterious dragon painter. Soon, more kids wanted the same thing. Except for one problem, I can never do the same thing twice.

Most people get better with practice, but for me every dragon after the first one was exceedingly worse. So I now just quit after my first attempt, which probably explains a lot about the quality of my drawings on this blog. And the cleanliness of my house. And my chances of winning the lottery.

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21 Responses to Face Painting or How I Know When to Give Up

  1. Sarah says:

    I love this! And the dragon drawings are really good 🙂


  2. kallmaker says:

    That little voice of the editor that looks at the first draft and can’t resist picking at it so that the second draft has no confidence left…


  3. Elyse says:

    I didn’t realize until this post that you have legs!


  4. Rob Rubin says:

    I don’t know. I think a dragon licking my eyeballs would be pretty awesome actually.


  5. Russ Nickel says:

    I agree with Rob! Now I want you to paint me a face-dragon!


  6. I had to do the face-painting booth once, too. I never painted anything as cool as that! Mostly, I made a lot of little boys look like Spiderman. I’m pretty sure my boss would have had my head if I painted a dragon licking a child’s eyeball. Creative freedom is not welcome in government jobs 😛


  7. Heather says:

    If only we could copy/paste in real life.


  8. I have the same problem, its why I stopped drawing regularly a few years back. My house is also unclean, there are goat entrails everywhere from my satanic rituals to win the lottery.


    • Rae says:

      Oh, I haven’t tried goat. I was always told pig entrails worked the best, but you can see they haven’t done anything for me yet (besides making some delicious sausage).


      • Pig entrails are not only unclean but their also not Kosher. If I recall correctly; Kosher/Halal rules are the only ones Satan follows. Of course, I could be wrong, I’ve been asking for get rich quick schemes and all I’ve gotten is more work.


  9. sj says:

    Was your original plan just to put handprints on their faces? Is that why you’re painting your hand in the first frame?


  10. gojulesgo says:

    Ha! Well, I for one, love all of your art. But I’m the same way about only being able to draw it once! Last year at work we had to go to this week-long project management boot camp (don’t get me started) – our ‘team’ had to design a t-shirt, so I volunteered. I came up with a funny concept that people liked, and then they asked me to draw it ‘much bigger’ – errrrr, CRAP!!!!


  11. asoulwalker says:

    I love the girl looking at the drawing on her own face… it makes me laugh every time… and I’ve come back to look at this post several times.


  12. underwhelmer says:

    Can’t help but be reminded of when Strongbad draws a dragon on Homestar Runner. 🙂


  13. thefibitz says:

    I love your homour – great story and it feels genuine.


  14. bonzoWhale says:

    You know, I see great comic artists like Jeph Jacques doodle their characters for fans, and just straight up draw them in every panel and they always look the same and I just can’t help to wonder…. how the fuck do they do that? Seriously, I can’t even draw two lines of the same length. Must be black magic.


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