Goats on a Donkey

I still have a herd of goats milling around my house because apparently I can’t have normal people problems. Animal Control finally showed up too, which apparently consists of one guy for the entire county, which apparently makes you crazy. Or maybe only a crazy man would take the job. Either way, crazy.

Me: Hi, are you here for the goats?

Animal Guy: Yeah, sure.

Me: Um, ok, they’re out here.

Animal Guy: Did you know all Germans are assholes?

Me: Uh, I guess they have somewhat of an unfortunate history, but I don’t know about all of them.

Animal Guy: Yep, all of them. And you know who’s the worst? The French. I hate the French. My sister married a French guy and I didn’t talk to her for five years. She called me up one day and says, “We shouldn’t be like this,” and I says, “Are you still married to that French guy?” She says, “Yeah,” so I haven’t talked to her for another two years.

Me: …

Animal Guy: Yep, I’m an asshole, my dad was an asshole, my dad’s dad was an asshole, we’re all assholes.

Me: So, the goats?

Animal Guy: I can grab these few here, but I’m not going up that hill. I ain’t a billy-goat.

Me: I didn’t mean…

Animal Guy: What you need is some herdin’ dogs.

Me: I have cats.

Animal Guy: They herd?

Me: No.

Animal Guy: Well, I’ll have to make some calls then.

If you can avoid ever having to call Animal Control, I suggest you do so.

I was also talking with SJ from Booksnobbery on Twitter. I was trying to be clever by saying that I wished these goats with get off their ass. But then I forgot that ass was a donkey term and not a goat term. Then SJ said she pictured a goat riding a donkey. So then I drew this for her.

Meanwhile, I’m still trying to make #goattweets trend internationally. You’d really think there’d be a lot more activity on this topic.

This entry was posted in Human Interactions, Observations and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Goats on a Donkey

  1. Scritch says:

    was this a real conversation? Like, For realz? Are you in America?


  2. Russ Nickel says:

    Great picture! And of course, hilarious situation.


  3. I’m surprised that this isn’t a trend. There are five goats eating my car bumper right now, and I know that there are a herd of them at city hall. One of them is thinking of running for mayor.


  4. Doesn’t it just blow you away when one of these Refugees from a Bad TV Show turns up in person? Almost as weird as a herd of goats in your backyard. That aren’t yours. In a major US city…


  5. So the animal control guy turned out to be German after all. I love a good twist.


  6. I keep sayin’ – I wish I lived closer! I’d round up the goats and take them home! I even mentioned your goat problems to DH who responded, “Too bad she’s not closer… you could round them up and take them home.”


  7. That goat is adorable! I love goats… but where did they come from? Is there a little goatherder somewhere crumpled in a heap and crying because they can’t find their goats? Are the goats microchipped? Have you considered putting up FOUND posters around town? 🙂


    • I’ve heard goat is delicious; maybe she can look for the microchip in a bowl of goat chili or whilst eating a pulled goat sandwich? Admittedly, goats are pretty cool but I think her cats might enjoy some homemade goat cat food and since this is The Internets, we can all agree that cats are the best ever.


    • Rae says:

      We’re calling around to places. I still think someone up the hill is trying to illegally raise them for food, so it’ll make me happier anyway if we can get one of the goat herder places to adopt them that just puts their goats out to eat weeds.


  8. Elyse says:

    Perhaps you can just give your lawnmower to the Animal Control guy (I hope it’s German-made!) and keep the goats. And then get dogs that will keep both the goats and the cats where you want them.


  9. sj says:

    Bahahahaha, THIS IS AMAZING!

    I really feel so bad because I know this whole goat situation is a nightmare, but I can not stop laughing. Baby Girl is staring at me like she knows I have no reason to be so smiley when I haven’t even finished a cup of coffee.


  10. Audrey says:

    Love the drawing!!
    Seriously, animal control guy sounds a little bit scary…


  11. Katherine says:

    Wow, I can’t imagine having experienced that animal control guy. Well, I can’t imagine having a herd of goats outside my house either. Although I do love your drawing.


  12. Maggie says:

    That is so funny! love the goat ass drawing. I am also shocked that #goattweets is not trending. Seems like something ridiculous that would happen on twitter. I will get right on that:


  13. You’re in luck! See, I know this guy who teaches cats to herd…


  14. asoulwalker says:

    I have never met a dog catcher I liked… not once.

    Goats on donkeys however… that I like.


  15. Well, I know this cat that teaches goats to herd donkeys….oh that’s right, you need to herd the goats…never mind. Very funny


  16. Pingback: What I’d Like to Blog About | Peas and Cougars

  17. Pingback: Goat Pumpkin Lives | Peas and Cougars

  18. Pingback: Nothing Says Permanant Mistake like a Sharpie | Peas and Cougars

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s