The Minister of Common Sense

Recently I gave myself a new title at work. No, I’m not acknowledged for it in any way, but it’s basically the only thing that has helped me keep my sanity.

You are looking at the new Minister of Common Sense.

Ever since reading Harry Potter, I’ve been bitter that America only has secretaries, which unless you’re reading erotica, are usually quite dull. So anyway, I dubbed myself Minister and I’ve been really busy ever since. Just yesterday my coworker was trying to search an organization in a database and she told me she couldn’t find it. Knowing this would take a special touch, I asked if she tried spelling the organization as one word, because, you know, that’s how the organization spells it. She hadn’t, so score one for the minister!

To be a Minister of Common Sense you should have sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. A Minister of Common Sense values bravery, persistence, and cunning in the face of ignorance.

Could You Be A Minister of Common Sense?

1) Your coworker asks you if she should delete the voice mailbox of an employee who is no longer with the company. You…

  • A) Give her the statistical likelihood of hiring another person with the same name before lamenting the fall of humankind.
  • B) Tell her to ask your boss, this is an upper-management decision.
  • C) Ask her what a voicemail mailbox is.

2) Your coworker asks you what size envelope he should use for the mailing that’s going out. You…

  • A) Ask him which envelope fits the paper.
  • B) Tell him it doesn’t matter.
  • C) Tell him you’re not comfortable making these decisions.

3) Your coworker is going away on vacation and wants to know how to set a vacation message on their email.

  • A) You tell them to look at the menu options and click the option that says “Out of Office” or “Vacation.”
  • B) You search the Internet for ten minutes until you find the exact instructions.
  • C) You tell him you don’t know and call your $200/hour IT consultant.

4) Your boss gives you feedback on a document you made and asks to see it when you’re done. You…

  • A) Make all the changes, double-check your work, and give it to him.
  • B) Give him the document with only half of the changes made.
  • C) Forget to make the edits.


Mostly As: Congratulations! You have the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that you need to live in a reasonable and safe way. You are a Minister of Common Sense!

Mostly Bs: You’re no Minister, but you can usually avoid getting hit by a bus on the way to work. That counts?

Mostly Cs: Seriously, everyone hates you. No, really.

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27 Responses to The Minister of Common Sense

  1. Good stuff, minister. I like to call that “withitness”. Wish more people had it. They don’t.


  2. I would like to be the Prime Minister of Smarty Pants.


  3. Ugh everyone hates me. Apparently I am the Secretary of Apathy and Laziness. Weaksauce.


  4. I’m the Office Ninja. Nobody knows what I do until I don’t do it… 😉


  5. This is the funniest, and the comments are even funnier.
    It’s pretty scary that I’ve always pretty much thought someone else had the right answers [WHY???], that surely I was going to do it WRONG….and then everyone in the room picks “C”!!! With an ocassional “B”. What the Hell??? Why am I always surprised? No wonder I find this funny. I didn’t know I was a Minister!


  6. Common sense is all well and good, but where are these erotic secretaries you speak of?


  7. Teh, heh, you will go far, Minister!


  8. Soul Walker says:

    Dear Minister,

    Do you consult?

    -Soul Walker


  9. Frenchroast says:

    Oh my god, my coworkers are just like yours. It is maddening! Quote from someone today (while I was clearly in the middle of doing something): “Am I interrupting you? Oh, is this a bad time? Can you talk? I guess I could email you about this, but I thought since I was walking by, I’d go ahead and tell you…(proceeds with long-ass explanation about some project she’s starting that has NOTHING to do with me, and is clearly a time-and-tenure-folder filler)…just thought I’d let you know! That’s what I’m going to be up to sometimes now.” This same coworker has asked me how she should arrange things in a gift basket; whether she should make one trip to the store for retirement party supplies or have me go on a separate trip to get some of the things; whether or not I think her husband had a stroke; how to make her husband go to the doctor to find out if he had a stroke; and to top things off, she feels the need to inform me personally about her comings and goings even though I am not her boss. I’m not going to get started on the others.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to hijack your comments with my complaints; I just want to say, I totally get it. My coworkers, they drive me crazy with their inability to handle basic problems. I am claiming the Minister of Common Sense title for myself at my workplace.


  10. QueridaJ says:

    Poor Mister C….I know cause (unfortunately) I’ve met him.


  11. Michelle Gillies says:

    Unfortunately my title would be “Minister of What Can Go Wrong, Will”. I hate that job.


  12. Elyse says:

    When I worked at a major university, a young professor who was considered brilliant by everyone in the place called maintenance to have a light bulb changed. IN A TABLE LAMP. That’s when I realized that I was smarter than the above-average bear. Because, as the saying goes, common sense isn’t all that common.


  13. Minister of Surrounded by Twits. Yeah I know that feel.


  14. Anne Schilde says:

    Haha, is there a position open for Secretary of Erotica? Um… I might know “some people.”

    On a serious note, though… how on Earth did you read Harry Potter?


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