Desperate Househunters

The Bay Area is a magical place in California where you get the beauty of Northern California while still getting to experience the thrills of living in the city. The combination of these two things makes it the most expensive place to live in the history of anywhere. Well, probably. But seriously, rent will cost you $2,000 and up in San Francisco (not joking) and, unless you’re willing to live in an area where your chances of getting shot or assaulted are about as high as the chances of your train being late, that’s about what the rest of the Bay Area is too.

Unfortunately for us, we may have lost our recession window. We were approved for our loan at the beginning of January, and I kid you not, that very night we saw an announcement on the news that IN REAL ESTATE HISTORY BAY AREA PRICES SKYROCKET 35% IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER!

So instead of all the good deals I was seeing in previous months, I now send listings to my real estate agent and ask, “Do you think they’ll take less?!” And she says, “They already have 15 offers over asking.” And then I make another martini.

Since I know my chances are a little low, I’ve been trying not to get emotionally attached.

I kind of suck at this.

My latest strategy has been to submit 4-5 offers a day with the thought of, if I can’t remember what I’ve put offers on, I won’t be able to get attached!

To be honest though, I don’t know what terrifies me more – getting a house or not getting a house. It’s like courting a tiger – sure tigers are beautiful and everyone wants one to fall in love with them, but they are also expensive and sometimes unexpectantly bite your hand off.

I’ve actually heard recently that there’s a new strategy that people are using to convince sellers to take their offers – writing “love” letters. I’m not really sure how to write a love letter to a bank-owned home, but I think it would go something like this:

Dear sir(s):

Shall I compare thy house to a windfall share?
Thou art more human and more charitable:
Rich bidders do beg the darling houses brokered,
And recession’s fare hath all too short a life:
Sometimes too hot the eye of greed shines,
And often is his green soul dimm’d;
But thy eternal character shall not fade
If thou lose possession of that house;
So long as as thou sends it benevolently to my hands.

And in case they aren’t moved by real estate poetry, I’ll include a picture too. I might need to borrow someone’s baby if we don’t look desperate enough.

Desperate Portrait

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20 Responses to Desperate Househunters

  1. jmcvl says:

    I am going through the same thing here in the UK. We are desperately trying to complete on a home but time after time we are getting knocked back! So desperate to get a home now, having fallen in love one hundred million (approx) times with the houses we have seen and lost… 😦
    My fingers are crossed that you find and get the right one!!

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  2. Ah, Sonnet 155, the lost sonnet. Where Bill tries to woo a comely banker’s daughter. I believe she rejected him and that is why he was so scathing to those in the financial industry in the play The Merchant of Venice. What an interesting piece of art and history!

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  3. sj says:

    Listen, I have 4 kids I’d be willing to let you borrow. You would just have to fly us all out there.

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  4. Elyse says:

    Homeownership is soooooo overrated.

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  5. Soul Walker says:

    I love your poem… and the picture at the end is pretty fantastic.

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  6. alittlelessfluff says:

    I can totally relate to the frustration of house hunting. Especially in a market that’s not going according to your plans!
    Be strong, keep at it. It will happen.
    🙂

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  7. I think the next time you see a house you like, you should put crime scene tape on it every week. That’ll cut down the competition.

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  8. Frenchroast says:

    We just went through this, only we also have a house that we’re living in that we need to sell before we can move. After going to see some houses with an agent, and looking around on our own…we finally just decided to stay where we are, and bought some stuff to make our current place nicer. Sure, it’s procrastinating, but at the same time, everything else looks cheaper after you’ve spent weeks looking at the costs of homes!

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  9. melody says:

    I loved the tiger analogy.

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