Things I Did Not Do in Florida

So you might have noticed that I haven’t posted for a week. I probably should have mentioned that I was traveling last week, even though the paranoid old woman in me says you should never post anything too personal because you should never trust something without a face, and the Internet is the most faceless bastard I know.

Anyway, I was Florida for the first time ever. I thought at the very least I would come back with some good blog material, but for the most part it was a pretty mediocre trip. I went for work though, so, you know, my cocktail hour was limited.

Below is a list of things I did not do in Florida.

I did not swim with dolphins.

florida

I did not wrestle with an alligator.

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I did not go to any retirement homes.

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I did not go to Disney World.

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And this thus concludes the list of things I know about Florida but have no personal experience of.

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17 Responses to Things I Did Not Do in Florida

  1. laugraeva says:

    I’ve been Florida five times, and have only done the last thing on your list. (Admittedly, Disney Land was a repeated activity, but still). I think you should mix up the verbs and nouns to make yourself feel better… Saying that you didn’t wrestle an old lady or swim with alligators is a much better way of looking at things đŸ˜€

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  2. speaker7 says:

    The deflated Micky Mouse balloon brought a tear to my eye.

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  3. As a Florida gal who is about to move back, I have done all those things and…. to be honest, they are awesome. Come back for a longer visit next time and you can stay with me! I’ll show you a lagoon where seahorses live!

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  4. I didn’t do all those things when I was in Florida last time, either. I just spent my time at the beach in the sun and sand. Reading. That’s enough for me.

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  5. I’ve sort of done all of that stuff but despite that Florida still pretty much sucks. It is a state that is shittier than most because it can’t decide what it is. Is it a swampy, mosquito infested racist hellhole? Or is it a beautiful haven for refugees from South American dictatorships? Or is it limbo, where people go before they move on to their final home in heaven or hell? It is all of those things but mostly it is a place that is too hot and where the people’s skin is more leathery than that of those alligators.

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    • blackbettyv says:

      HAHA! Oh wow. Your comment here is truley incredible. I have lived in Florida for just over 20 years now, and I have to say you have mostly summed up the state, in one paragraph, pretty darn well! I have done all the those things too (Including wrestle an alligator! I live off of Lake Jesup, the most aligator populated lake.) and you are right, Florida can’t make up it’s mind at all!

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  6. Next time come to Clearwater – do all those things and much more and you might fall in love with Florida đŸ™‚

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  7. Did you catch any lizards or get sand in your eye? That’s what I remember about Florida.

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  8. Soul Walker says:

    I remember the Orlando area being entirely pastel. I love the faces in this one.

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  9. Anne Schilde says:

    I was sort of disappointed the dolphin wasn’t a narwhal, but there aren’t any of those to not ride in Florida.

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  10. VerĂ³nica says:

    Good thing for the alligator.

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  11. Well, at least that alligator didn’t get a chance to defeat you. Tha would have been decidedly not mediocre.

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  12. Margie says:

    I’ve been to Florida twice (took the kids, then many years later took the grandkids) to Disney World. Epcot was wonderful – where else can you eat German pretzels and wash them down with Mexican margaritas while you sit in the shade of a building that looks like it was plucked right out of England!

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  13. gpcox says:

    You about nailed it. Unless you live in a gated community and golf and play tennis – Florida isn’t for you. I live here and don’t do any of those things – hence – the computer.

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