Nothing Says Permanant Mistake like a Sharpie

I wish I had something scandalous to share. Really, Fridays should always end with something scandalous. That’s just science.

The most exciting thing to happen to me was yesterday when I got home and my entire neighborhood was corralled off with police cars. I asked a cop if it was safe to go home and he just said they “were on a manhunt” and if I saw anything out of the ordinary, to let him know. That didn’t exactly answer my “safety” question, but whatever, I like an adventure. After checking my property for any hidden men (unclear what I would have done if I found one, but my general thought was to run away in a zig zag pattern) and not finding any (he probably ducked out through the goat portal), I went inside. For the next hour I basically debated whether it was safe to take off my bra or not.

For those of you who aren’t of the female variety, bras are a big part of a woman’s life. Bras do a couple of things:

  • Hide nipples;
  • Prevent saggage (how is saggage not a real word?);
  • Give support;
  • Give an extra layer between you and any creeps.

Still, taking your bra off is like releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding, which is why getting home and taking it off is the best thing ever. Except what if I took it off and I was kidnapped or got held hostage? I didn’t want to end up on the news without a bra on. So I sat around and waited for the cops to clear off which in the end was pretty boring and not scandalous at all. I probably should have just taken my bra off for the drama of it.

Anyway, I’ve been really busy this working two jobs, but I still feel guilty for not posting a picture. So I drew this really fast for you with Sharpie, which was annoying because there’s no Ctrl-Z for Sharpie.

sharpie cat

For the record, I’ve never been able to draw human feet either.

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This entry was posted in Cats and Cats, Human Interactions and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Nothing Says Permanant Mistake like a Sharpie

  1. I completely agree with you about the bra panic. Except I probably would have worried more about how clean my house was(n’t) because my biggest nightmare is getting slashed by a home invader and having the CSI crew come and make snide comments about my housekeeping.

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  2. Michelle says:

    The worst thing is when you come home and strip off the bra and feel that I’m-home-and-now-we’re-all-free! feeling and then remember you have to go out to the grocery or something. And you have to put it back on.

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  3. Elyse says:

    Best line ever: “I didn’t want to end up on the news without a bra on.”

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  4. Eda says:

    Yes, when I take off the bra, I have a mantra: Be free little ones. You have been held captive long enough.

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  5. TammyeHoney says:

    With our security cameras the least little noise sends our dogs into a hey mom mode…since the monitor is in my office right next to the bedroom it can get loud at night with high winds. Loss of sleep means hey honey hope you made coffee and I don’t care if I have my bra before my first cup. lol…

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  6. knotrune says:

    Ctrl-Z would be so useful in all areas of life. Spill coffee down your front? Ctrl-Z 🙂 Reverse the car into a bollard? Ctrl-Z 🙂 Remove bra moments before escaped convict takes you hostage? Ctrl-Z!

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  7. i can relate to the messy house worry. when my house was broken in to and trashed – the police said it was because there was nothing worth stealing – i actually felt relieved that they’d made a mess since the house wasn’t that neat when i left for work. i should have been worrying whether or not they were still in the house…

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  8. There isn’t a woman alive that can’t wait to get her bra off in the comfort of her own home. I find it humorous that whenever I think about getting kidnapped or held hostage I always hope I have no bra on because I will be uncomfortable enough being tied up. One should really be as comfortable as possible in that situation.

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  9. Kim says:

    It’s funny because I can relate to eeeexactly what you mean. Home time is no bra time! Buuut I have on many occasions worried about some “what ifs.” What if some urgent event happened, like say, a fire in the house and you had to run out hastily for your own safety? If you already have a bra on, you wouldn’t have to worry about pointy nipples and all of that. I guess the best solution would be to always keep a jacket nearby to throw on regardless of the weather…but I guess if it’s an urgent situation you might not even be thinking about that jacket haha

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  10. You have summed up what it truly means to be a woman. The bra thing is a real thing.

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  11. This was a great post! Good job on the cat too 🙂

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  12. lindigo says:

    Seriously, you nailed it. When I was a teenager I saw what I’m still quite sure was a UFO outside my bedroom window, so I ran outside…it was summer, so I was sleeping in really skimpy clothing. And after being outside for 5 seconds and being even more sure it was an actual UFO, my primary thought was “Oh my god, I’m going to be abducted wearing only this.”

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  13. Anna says:

    I completely understand the big deal about the bra. It’s like when people are knocking at the door and I’m just, you know. slouching about my house in a t-shirt, but with no bra. Do I go and put one on, or open the door and have my nipples be shown to the general populace? Or do I, and I do, hide behind the sofa and wait until they have gone? Sigh. Bra issues.

    Like

  14. haha! yea, don’t want to get caught on the news with your pajama pants on and no bra. But, that’s totally what I am wearing/not wearing the moment I get home. What a dilemma!

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  15. I absolutely understand this. Once the bra is off, that should mean you’re in for the evening and aren’t going to get any unexpected visitors. So it makes sense to check if the coast is clear before unleashing the girls. I don’t draw, but if I did, I would absolutely want a Ctrl-Z for Sharpies. I could have used a Ctrl-Z when I used my crayons back in the day, come to think of it.

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  16. Whenever I feel freaked out by our Cracky McCrackhead neighbors, I ALWAYS fear taking my bra off. I always think, “I don’t want to escape the clutches of my methed-out kidnapper and be running for safety with my fun bags bouncing all over the street.” even though they’re not even remotely that big. I just don’t like the idea of my nipples being seen by anyone that I don’t deliberately choose to see them.

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