How to Create a Monster in 5 Easy Steps

1. Pick your monster.

Generally, your monster should be something that isn’t already terrifying. If you are scared or disgusted by your monster before you even start, you will never be able to create a proper monster of it, and your 3rd grade teacher would remind you that a healthy challenge is important in life.


monster 1 monster 2 monster 3

2. Teach your monster something that should in theory be useful to you.

This could be anything. You could teach it talk or give you affection when it’s close to you, or even teach it to ring a bell when it needs to go outside to pee. You know, normal everyday useful things.

3. Allow time for your monster to become confident.

This could take as much as a few hours to a few weeks, but it’s important to give your monster enough time to not only gain confidence, but also a sense of entitlement. No monster can truly be a true monster unless it believes it is superior over all other beings, and a bit of a god complex wouldn’t hurt either.

monster 44. Encourage your monster.

By now, your monster should be starting to experiment. Give your monster the right motivation to continue in this behavior.

monster 5

5. Enjoy your monster.

monster 6monster 7

This entry was posted in Cats and Cats, Childhood Things, Human Interactions, Puppies and Dogs and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to How to Create a Monster in 5 Easy Steps

  1. Tua says:, I created a monster out of my cat and I didn’t even know I was running an experiment!


  2. Monster is my 14 month old heir’s nickname. It suits him as he genuinely tries to destroy everything I hold dear and there is this gleeful sound he makes when he tries to eat my cats and dog or when he is knocking things off of a shelf or diverting my wife’s attention away from me.


  3. darkwriter67 says:

    Reblogged this on Illuminite Caliginosus.


  4. sj says:

    I should not have been drinking coffee while I read this.


  5. Both of my furballs are monsters. . . but I totally blame my husband!


  6. So, what you are telling me is that the set of instructions everyone complains about that didn’t come with their kid was actually replaced by this list. This explains so much.


  7. CatOnLaptop happens to me every day!!!!


  8. beingkeri says:

    “Im the Alpha and the Omega, bitch. ” from the baby?
    I. Die.
    I can’t stop laughing.


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