Just a Regular Day

6:45 a.m.: Alarm goes off. I hit snooze 4-5 times.

7:00 a.m.: The husband informs me that there was a large-scale ant invasion in the kitchen in which they tried takeover our pizza boxes. Once again, glad I have a close relationship with my snooze button.

7:05 a.m.: Greeted by the puppy who is super excited to see me, even though she slept two feet away from me all night. Puppy logic.

7:10 a.m.: Shower/mini-torture session due to insane sunburn. Also, a mini-torture session sounds adorable.

7:30 a.m.: Get ready for work. It takes awhile because I’m just a regular human.

8:10 a.m.: Hug husband goodbye and walk out the door to go to work and OH SHIT THE CAT GOT OUT!

8:15 a.m.: Chase cat out on sidewalk where it jumps up and hides under our elevated deck.

8:20 a.m.: Chant softly to bushes trying to lure cat, notice the neighbor is outside smoking a cigarette and staring at me. Try to act like chanting at bushes is a totally normal morning activity.

8:25 a.m.: Crawl into bushes trying to grab cat. He darts further back under the deck.

8:30 a.m.: Consider how many panic attacks I’ll have if I leave the cat outside. Continue trying to catch the cat.

8:35 a.m.: Have lured the cat out again with chanting. Husband sneaks up behind him and grabs him.

8:40 a.m.: Leave for work and I’m really late. Consider how sympathetic my coworkers are likely to be to “had to climb through bushes in my work clothes to catch my escaped cat” excuse.

8:50 a.m.: I’m on the train and in a constant state of annoyance.

9:15 a.m.: I’m the first one to work. Congratulate myself on not sending a warning message about being late to my coworkers.

9:30 a.m.: Make a deconstructed smoothie for breakfast. Just kidding, it’s apples and yogurt.

11:00 a.m.: Really impress my coworkers with my ability to edit a PDF document. Decide to leave it a mystery rather than confessing I have the Pro version of Adobe.

11:42 a.m.: Is it lunch yet? No.

11:43 a.m.: Continue working. Sigh a lot.

12:05 p.m.: Discuss the weird IT problems our office is having. One person suggests it’s maybe the wiring. I suggest a haunting.

12:30 p.m.: Get harassed by the office fly, which refuses to die.

1:00 p.m.: Go to my local depressing salad bar, which has no windows in the seating area. I like it because no one bothers me when I keep reading long after I’ve finished my food. Also, no one else goes there.

2:05 p.m.: My coworker informs me that the office fly committed suicide into a bowl of water in the sink. I feel a little sad. Just kidding, I was about to murder that bitch.

2:52 p.m.: My phone rings and the caller ID says “My Dutch Uncle.” Unfortunately, it turns out that I don’t have a Dutch uncle and people just pick out weird names for their businesses.

4:59 p.m.: Quittin’ time!

5:20 p.m.: About 1,000 people try to jam into a train car that has a 75-person capacity. The train driver is screaming on the intercom, “Be reasonable people!” The people are not reasonable.

5:32 p.m.: There is no AC on the train. I’m dying.

5:40 p.m.: I walk to my parked car, which also doesn’t have working AC. I feel like a champion.

5:50 p.m.: Get home. The puppy freaks out like she thought I was dead this whole time. Puppy logic.

6:00 p.m.: Play with the puppy, feed the cats, feed the puppy.

6:30 p.m.: Exercise since my earlier self slept through the alarm and didn’t exercise in the morning.

6:32 p.m.: Curse my earlier self.

6:35 p.m.: The husband asks why I’m exercising because I exercised yesterday. I glare at him a lot.

7:00 p.m.: Feed myself.

7:30 p.m.: Work on personal projects instead of drawing a blog post.

7:32 p.m.: Feel guilty.

8:00 p.m.: Flip through the channels a lot. Grumble.

8:15 p.m.: Found a show to watch on Hulu.

8:16 p.m.: The puppy rings her bell to be let out. Grumble.

9:00 p.m.: Is anyone still reading this?

9:45 p.m.: Tell myself that I’m going to go to bed early.

10:00 p.m.: Get sucked into the 10 o’clock news.

10:45 p.m.: Oh shit, it’s not really this late, is it?

11:00 p.m.: Go to bed and start falling asleep. Cat that escaped this morning starts pawing my face. Full circle.

 

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This entry was posted in Cats and Cats, Human Interactions, Marriage, Observations and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Just a Regular Day

  1. Eda says:

    I like the drawings better.

    Like

  2. henrygame says:

    As a rule, Henry does not laugh. However, this did something to Henry that Henry had almost completely forgotten how to do. Laugh. Not just in his idiosyncratic mind, no! Actually laughed out loud. The man with the big beard across the room from me looked up at me with genuine concern on his face.
    “Are you ok Henry?” He asked.
    “I, ahhhh don’t know. I think so” I replied.
    Thank you for reminding Henry that there is still something out there that can make me do these things.
    Great post.

    Like

  3. It’s nice to know that even people as talented as you have to suffer through these things that make up our lives. I enjoyed this peek behind the curtain.

    Like

  4. I love it!! Sounds like the torture of one of my days!! So glad I am not alone in my attempt to function as an adult in life.
    i am going to reblog. πŸ™‚

    Like

  5. Reblogged this on jessabelltuminelli and commented:
    I just laughed through this as it is how I attempt to life a normal adult life as well. πŸ™‚

    Like

  6. I wish we worked together, because.

    Like

  7. Soul Walker says:

    Somehow, describing a day differently can make it seem a lot funnier than it felt at the time. I may have to try this.

    Like

  8. Era says:

    Laughed a lot at “2:05: My coworker informs me that the office fly committed suicide into a bowl of water in the sink. I feel a little sad. Just kidding, I was about to murder that bitch.” xD

    Like

  9. Elyse says:

    I kept reading because I thought you’d teach me everything about raising a puppy to not escape and go into the bushes when I need to get to work. We just got a puppy. So far he hasn’t found hte escape hatch.

    Like

  10. The lovely rat race πŸ˜€
    hold on, i wrote something on that..

    Why is life so full of pain?
    We struggle through for what gain?
    There’s poverty and sickness all around,
    Where-ever you look, death abounds.
    The rat-race we run,
    Leaving no time for fun.
    We fight to be the best,
    Not caring about all the rest.
    The top we want to reach,
    No matter what laws we have to breach.
    Where is joy when we need it the most?
    The stresses of life, our brains they roast
    The joys of life are slowly forgotten,
    As our body starts to get rotten.
    We forget what it’s like to sit and stare,
    Without a worry or a care.
    When did we last stop to see
    The random flight path of a bee?
    We start ignoring the little things in life,
    And all we care about is our own strife.
    When will we ever learn,
    That it isn’t about how much we earn.
    Being a success shouldn’t be our aim,
    If getting there will cause others a lot of pain.
    Life is about being a joy to those near,
    To help wipe away that painful tear.
    It’s about doing your best,
    Even if you aren’t the best.
    it’s about doing things the right way,
    Even if a little extra you have to pay.
    So open your eyes and look around!
    Someone in need can always be found!
    This world can be a better place,
    If only we stop running the race

    Like

  11. “The people are not reasonable.” Laughed long and loud. No, they are not. Loved this post!

    Like

  12. desireejoy says:

    You forgot our 43 minute sexting sess. Just sayin…

    Like

  13. Sorry to hear about your fly. I will find you another.

    Like

  14. kaylagirl7 says:

    “Deconstructed smoothie.. just kidding, its apples and yoghurt”
    HAHAHA

    Like

  15. LOve the 7:32 feel guilty

    Like

  16. whatrthis says:

    I AM DYING!!!! Your sarcasm and wit are just perfect.

    Like

  17. devinci101 says:

    My favourite was “Get harassed by the office fly, which refuses to die.” Oh my gosh. Who else could have come up with that? πŸ˜€

    Like

  18. donnajane14 says:

    Huge fan! also, this post was perfection to me, even without the drawings. Favourite part? “I suggest a haunting.” You are HIGHlarious!

    Like

  19. danajosei says:

    I totes love this! ItΒ΄s almost me minus cat and dog. I always wanted to document my day just like this, I opted for this because I have a problem keeping track of well… my day — but only sometimes

    http://booquepress.com/2014/10/27/darn-you-mind/

    Like

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