I just watched “The Most Annoying People on Planes” with Patrick Stewart and it reminded me how much I hate it when people clap at stupid things.
Stupid things to clap for include:
- A plane landing (as in the video)
- During or after a movie
- When someone breaks a dish in a restaurant
- To turn lights on or off
- Probably lots of other things
The thing with inappropriate clapping is, it usually makes you look like a douche. You’re either saying, “Hey everyone, I liked this thing that just happened and thought you should know!” Or you’re saying, “I really doubted the pilot’s ability to land this plane, but I have to say it all worked out in the end and I’m really pleased about it!”
Which made me think about people clapping at really weird and inappropriate times. Unfortunately(?), I’m way too much of a wimp (and not a dick) to actually make this happen, but luckily, that’s what my (otherwise useless) imagination is for. I’m going to come up with some scenarios, and if anyone actually wants to reenact them and tell me what happens, that would be fun and non-consequential for me!*
*You probably shouldn’t do any of these things. They probably aren’t even funny.**
**Unless you think they’re funny, then I fully stand behind them.