When to Clap

I just watched “The Most Annoying People on Planes” with Patrick Stewart and it reminded me how much I hate it when people clap at stupid things.

Stupid things to clap for include:

  1. A plane landing (as in the video)
  2. During or after a movie
  3. When someone breaks a dish in a restaurant
  4. To turn lights on or off
  5. Probably lots of other things

The thing with inappropriate clapping is, it usually makes you look like a douche. You’re either saying, “Hey everyone, I liked this thing that just happened and thought you should know!” Or you’re saying, “I really doubted the pilot’s ability to land this plane, but I have to say it all worked out in the end and I’m really pleased about it!”

Which made me think about people clapping at really weird and inappropriate times. Unfortunately(?), I’m way too much of a wimp (and not a dick) to actually make this happen, but luckily, that’s what my (otherwise useless) imagination is for. I’m going to come up with some scenarios, and if anyone actually wants to reenact them and tell me what happens, that would be fun and non-consequential for me!*

clapping 1 clapping 2 clapping 3

 

*You probably shouldn’t do any of these things. They probably aren’t even funny.**

**Unless you think they’re funny, then I fully stand behind them.

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26 Responses to When to Clap

  1. weebluebirdie says:

    I have sometimes found myself doing inappropriate clapping at work. When something unexpectedly good happened – come to think of it, that is worth clapping – I found myself clapping like a demented sealion…. :-/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. awax1217 says:

    I think the worse would be clapping when a coffin is interned in the earth.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I actually were in an airplane that landed and nobody clap. Suddenly we heard the sad voice of the Pilot: “You are not going to clap?”. It was funny. We clapped, cheer up and left with a smile. Not all us left with a smile, but the ones that understood the joke did. Do you know how much reaponsability is to fly an airplane full of people and land it to safety?. There is some of us that are happy we didn’t crash. So clapping isn’t appropiate, we should do a parade.

    Like

  4. I’ve been on a couple of flights that had so much turbulence that clapping was appropriate.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excuse me for saying but, after sex has to be the most inappropriate time for clapping.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Eda says:

    The total douches are the ones who clap between movements at the symphony. No class, none whatsoever. (My first boyfriend was a violinist who took me to the symphony and instructed me thus, otherwise I could easily have made it to middle age without ever knowing that.)

    Loved the little jiggly clappy hands, Rae.

    Like

  7. Elyse says:

    Can I add one? It’s one that drives me crazy.

    You know when a celebrity comes out onto a talk show and the audience claps? Nowadays, the celeb is clapping too! Didn’t your mother teach you not to do that? It makes me crazy. Er. CraziER.

    Like

  8. Hi, I think your blog posts are HILARIOUS. I really look forward to reading more of your work… Fantastic. Don’t stop.
    Also, if you have the time, could you please return the favor by liking/commenting my blog posts and maybe I might be lucky and get a follow from you? Would be great 🙂 have an awesome day – and yeah, clap on lights SUCK lol

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Did you know people clap after movies?
    They do.
    It’s ridiculous.
    You can clap all you like for Guardians of the Galaxy….NO ONE WHO WORKED ON THAT MOVIE WILL HEAR IT.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rae says:

      Exactly! I mean, if someone puts on a lot of work to put on a production, you can clap for them, but as someone who worked at a movie theater, it was pretty clear the clapping was never for us…

      Like

  10. Jay says:

    I’m not much of a clapper myself but I’ve found that the likelihood of people clapping when a plane lands depends a lot on how many old people are on that plane.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jenet12 says:

    With the clapping on the plane, every time I go on a plane to the Dominican republic (my families home country) they always clap. I think it’s a cultural thing too. I personally don’t clap unless I think a person deserves it. In the case of airplane ride, I don’t think its appropriate. I agree with you on that it’s rude.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Madam_W says:

    I hate that too! Can you imagine if a girl clapped after sex? Okay, that’d be hilarious actually.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Okay, I’m supposed to mention here how much I truly love how funny and cute both your images and wordages are, which really really are the case. But you so had me with the contrary-nested footnotes. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a fetish. I don’t want to talk about it. -_-

    Liked by 1 person

  14. krissy1289 says:

    omg thats so true!

    Liked by 1 person

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