I don’t talk about them much, mostly because I feel like they are the troll of the legume world and maybe if you don’t feed them they will go away, but I’ve known since I was a small child that peas are a blight on the otherwise mostly okay vegetation of this world.
So you can imagine how horrified I was when I saw this article in the NY Times that suggested it was a perfectly fine and even desirable to put peas in your guacamole.
This is possibly the most offensive thing I’ve ever seen, and I regularly troll Donald Trump’s Twitter page. I don’t know what that is, but it isn’t guacamole. (Also, sunflower seeds? Who does that?)
We don’t have to let the devil’s legume win though. Adversity will unite us. Already, the fight against this abomination has received bipartisan support.
You’re probably wondering what you can do. I considered making a Change.org petition to send to the NY Times about retracting this article, but the damage is already done. I can’t unsee that image. So just, if you see anyone attempt to do this, punch them. Punch them right in the face. Do it for guacamole. Do it for the children. Do it for every recipe ever that has had to share ingredient space with this vegetable troll. But mostly, do it because if enough people are punched we can start a revolution. Be the change!